2020. WTF.

Is anybody else feeling the weight of 2020 on their shoulders? It’s digging into me like a tight sports bra after an intense workout. Impossible to take off and painful in all the worst ways.

It’s been a rough year. I know my experiences pale in comparison to those of the people who have lost their jobs, lost their loved ones, or have had to spend months alone or in bad company. I’m lucky to still have a job and a great husband – who makes everything more tolerable and who puts up with all of my mood swings (poor guy).

I’m so grateful! But the gratitude doesn’t stop me from feeling a little looney sometimes. I flip-flop between loving my work-from-home situation and wishing that I had my old routine back. I’m trying to be so careful what I wish for, but the cabin fever is crippling sometimes.

I lost my grandma in June and the wound is still healing. Every so often, it reopens and I start the grieving process all over again. If I listen to a song that reminds me of her or stumble upon an old picture, I become a puddle of myself. On the upside, I feel closer to her than I ever did when she was alive. She’s a guiding force in all of my decisions now and I argue with her the same way I used to about the things I know she would disagree with.

Anyway, I’m not here to throw a pity party for myself. Come on now! I’m here to remind any readers that whatever feelings have come to the surface as a result of this godforsaken year are fulfilling some kind of higher purpose. We can weather this storm together. Just need the occasional creative outlet or virtual hug. Hang in there, my friends. You are not alone.

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