Gloomy. Monday. In. California.

I have decided that I’m not afraid of failing at blogging. I held off on publishing this website for a year and I don’t know why. It’s not like anybody reads these days. I can share this with people and they’ll go “yeah, I’ll check it out” and then they’ll just go back to scrolling mindlessly through Instagram. So what’s the big deal?

Today is a gloomy Monday in California and I don’t mean that metaphorically. There was actual lightning, thunder, and rainfall. It was also kind of warm outside. People always call it “earthquake weather,” which makes me so mad because I feel like the universe is just waiting for enough people to say that all at once, so the big one can hit.

I don’t constantly worry about earthquakes, but I sometimes wonder what I would do if things got serious and walls started coming down. 100% of my fantasy reactions include me saving dogs by putting them in backpacks and then running for it. They are always small dogs. The big dogs just run alongside me. Some of the bigger dogs carry a smaller dog.

I think I have a hero complex. I don’t know if that’s a thing, but I describe it as thinking that I could be the hero in any situation – regardless of how ridiculous it is. For instance, I might be fully trained in martial arts and walking down an alley as a crime is taking place. The criminal might stop for a second to wonder why the hell someone like me is strolling up to such a dangerous situation looking so cool and collected. Maybe I’m wearing sunglasses at night, I don’t know. I end up kicking ass and not even breaking a sweat. I finish this fantasy in a flash mob in the middle of a busy street. Somehow, everyone I know is there and they know I’ve just saved someone’s life and they’re in awe that I’m now dancing my MF ass off and nailing all of the moves. I go home and I order Thai food and go to sleep.

I know I’m not the only one who has had this kind of fantasy. Right? Welcome to my blog.

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