This week was a doozy. I don’t always battle it out with myself – but when I do, it’s brutal. Quitting my job to discover my true purpose has been a bumpy ride. I know that anything worth having in this life requires patience and sacrifice. I know that it will all be worth it in the end. Whether I make writing my full-time career, nail the whole podcast thing, or fail miserably at both – it will be a valuable lesson in overcoming fear and trying something new. But I have my moments. I get overwhelmed and feel silly for choosing this path.
I love to tell stories. I always have. Making people laugh gives me the best high. I love it when I meet someone who’s really serious and I’m able to get them to smile or giggle a little bit. Just typing this out is making me giddy. I love figuring out the type of humor people are into. Fart jokes? Got em. Sex jokes? No problem. Impressions of my grandparents? Stories about my awkward childhood? Pictures from 8th grade? Funny faces? My first bikini wax? Spanish jokes (these are actually my favorite)? Making fun of common enemies? Extreme dance moves? I’ll do pretty much whatever it takes – shy of killing someone or getting ass naked.
Anyway, today was hard. I woke up feeling deflated. I was worried that people might not be enjoying my content. This whole podcast endeavor is hard work and as badly as I want to just launch the fucking thing – I’m not ready to deliver something that I don’t feel is 100%. But every time I turn on the microphone to record something – my heart soars. Even though nobody is listening yet – I’m excited to be in your ear. I’m excited to talk to you and engage in conversation as though we’re old friends. For the first time in my life – I’m so excited that I don’t care about being afraid. Something in my gut just tells me that I’m supposed to see this through.
If you’ve read this far it’s because you need this too. Follow the thing that makes you happy, even if it makes you feel crazy sometimes. If there’s anything in your life that makes you feel complete – chase it. Own it. Be it. Whatever your gift is – it’s amazing and I hope you’re sharing it. Not today, fear. Not today.